Is your relationship emotionally healthy?Â Â Sometimes you and your partner frequently arguebecause you donâ€™t know how to communicate with each other in aÂ constructive and loving way. Â Does this sound familiar?
Our relationships with our partners are often a mirror for unresolved issues within ourselves. When we donâ€™t feel good enough, we then project this on to our partner by saying, â€œyou never think Iâ€™m good enough.â€
When we donâ€™t fully love & accept ourselves, we often accuse our partners of not loving or accepting us.Â As we become empowered in ourselves, our relationships completely transform.
Communicating well with your partner is often a challenge for many couples. When the romantic period is over, couples often find themselves arguing more. At first it can start out as bickering, but sometimes that bickering leads to bigger issues. One or both partners feel misunderstood or donâ€™t feel like the other person is really listening to him/her. Resentment builds and before you realize it, youâ€™ve stopped communicating altogether.
No one wants to get to this point, so these tips can help you re-discover the joys of communication with your partner and get you back on track with having a loving and fulfilling relationship with each other.
- TIMING IS IMPORTANT
Be sure to give your partner space after they arrives home from work. Often this is when someone feels tired and stressed, so itâ€™s not the best time to talk about problems. Welcome your partner with a big smile and hug. Barriers will easily melt and your partner will be in a more relaxed mindset. After 30 minutes or so, approach your partner and let them know youâ€™d really like to talk to about something important.Â Ask if now is a good time, or if a little later would be better?Â If you partner doesnâ€™t feel like talking at the moment, honor your partnerâ€™s request.
When your partner is sharing their thoughts and feelings about something important, take a moment to stop whatever youâ€™re doing.Â Sit down together and really listen to what your partner is telling you. Donâ€™t interrupt, just listen. Keep eye contact and reflect back to your partner some important points that they have just shared, so thatÂ they feel validated.
Then when it seems your partner has finished talking, check to see if they have anything else to say. If the answer is no, then you can go ahead and share your thoughts and feelings about this situation. Your partner ideally will also honor you by not interrupting during your sharing and reflecting back to you some important points that youâ€™re speaking about.
- BE ACCOUNTABLE
Be accountable for your own thoughts, feelings and Â reactions!
We often want to blame our partner for everything thatâ€™s going wrong in the relationship. We canâ€™t see how we are also co-creating this reality based on our own life experiences, traumas and thought patterns. The more that you are willing to be accountable for whatever is showing up that you donâ€™t like, the more possibility there is to change what isnâ€™t working in your relationship.
Think carefully about your choice of words before you speak. Consider what your partner says, and rather than â€˜reactingâ€™, choose to respond from a neutral place. When we heal , our own wounds no longer react from that space of being a victim, we are then able to fully embrace all that our partner contributes to our life. This is the key to having a truly healthy and happy relationship with our partners. We first must have this with ourselves.
Couples donâ€™t need to have serious issues to start practicing these communication techniques. Â Good communication helps your relationships grow stronger and lead to a more harmonious partnerships.
Find more about the tools of better communication with your partner at a special Coupleâ€™s Retreat atÂ Museflower Retreat & Spa this October 2016.Â This retreat is designed to strengthen the connection between you and your partner, facilitate change and growth in your relationship and to help you both uncover any limiting beliefs in yourself, or your relationship that are blocking you from having a more fulfilling partnership.
By Michele Cempaka
Michele Cempaka is a certified Reiki Therapist and Transformational Coach who teaches retreats all over Asia.Â For more information about the Coupleâ€™s Retreat taught by Michele Cempaka in Chiang Rai, contact:Â
Museflower Retreat & Spa Chiang Rai, 159/1 Moo 1 Ban Samanmit, Donsila Sub-District, Wiang Chai District, Chiang Rai 57210
Office: +66-(0)52-029-823, +66(0)-93-137-0414