Next-Gen Update For Witcher 3 Adds Detailed Vaginas To Female Monsters?

(CTN News) – This is what future acquaintances will find when they Google my name forever. Do you remember that Witcher 3 next-gen update?

Which one polished the 2015 game to a mirror-shine, added a fast travel point to Crow’s Nest, and integrated so many mods into the base game?

The game’s more, ah, feminine monsters now have some searingly detailed genitals (thanks Kotaku).

As it is, The Witcher 3 is pretty risqué. No one’s Woodstock spirit was broken by the war that ravaged Temeria. Geralt was greeted by all kinds of characters with their delicates on display, but what makes this update odd is the characters it applies to.

Kotaku’s fearless investigation uncovered exhaustively modeled vulvae on four characters: The Crones of Crookback Bog (in human forms, praise be) and the bruxae (opens in new tab), vampires you sometimes see eating hapless civilians in gloomy cellars and darkened woods. Our performance problems might be solved.

Google my name and you’ll find it. Remember Witcher 3’s next-gen update? Is it the one with Mirror Shine 2015, Crow’s Nest fast travel, and tons of mods?

One of those mods has added some searingly detailed genitals to the game’s more feminine monsters (thanks, Kotaku).

As it is, The Witcher 3 is pretty risqué. No one’s Woodstock spirit was broken by the war that ravaged Temeria. Geralt was greeted by all kinds of characters with their delicates on display, but what makes this update odd is the characters it applies to.

Kotaku’s fearless investigation uncovered exhaustively modeled vulvae on four characters: The Crones of Crookback Bog (in human forms, praise be) and the bruxae (opens in new tab), vampires you sometimes see eating hapless civilians in gloomy cellars and darkened woods.

Maybe we’ve found the reason for all those performance problems we’ve been having.

CDPR’s executives should be put on trial for this bizarre move that only applies to a few female monsters. It seems the game’s male vampires are stubbornly unadorned in their lower regions, although as far as I remember, they’re all clothed anyway.

My guess is that this unexpected addition came from one of the many mods CDPR integrated into The Witcher 3 for the next generation.

It’s likely that one of the beautification mods CDPR added to The Witcher 3 smuggled in a pelvic payload among the nude mods. Apparently, the developers might be as surprised by the updated additions as the CDPR players were.

Personally, I do not find it scandalous that vaginas feature in a videogame; they exist in the world.

Negatively, the game’s female cast seems to be subjected to the most ribald subject matter, most likely to titillate an assumed heterosexual male audience. Enough. Let the pigs run wild, CDPR. You’ve got all this processing power at your fingertips.

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